In March, we pay attention to the contributions of women to history and our communities. I wrote last week about three courageous women who influenced history. They each teach us how to step up and follow our hearts and values.  

This week I’d like to talk about some of the women who have been my teachers and my appreciation for who they are and what they taught me.  

I will begin with my grandmothers and mother. I was blessed with young parents. My mom was 20 when I was born and my dad 23. Consequently, I got to know all four of my grandparents, a gift not everyone receives. 

My mother’s mother was a classic Irish matriarch. Her name was Anna Callahan, changed from the Irish Kelleher when her parents arrived in Maryland. She grew up with privilege, attending school in Baltimore at a time it was rare for women to go to school, and certainly not 25 miles from home. After my grandfather died, she moved from their 100-acre farm into the small town where my parents lived up the street. Since my mother was physically closest to her mother among her five siblings, she became her mom’s caretaker. As a result, I spent many nights sleeping at my grandmother’s home, and doing errands for her as a youngster.

While it took me some years to appreciate her, she taught me to value family. She insisted the whole family get together twice a year. These events were dress up and look good; I didn’t consider them much fun. She also deeply valued her Catholic faith. In fact, she was known to say that she hoped to have grandsons who would become a priest, a lawyer or a doctor. I signed up for the priest position which thrilled her, and gave me special time with her. My cousin became the lawyer.  There were lots of nurses among the women in the family in the family, including my sister, but no doctors. That reflected the limits on women’s opportunity, more than the skills or aspirations of the women of the family. 

My grandmother was not particularly warm or affectionate. She knew what she wanted, and made it clear. Yet, over time, I did come to appreciate her strength and commitment to family and faith. 

Two of my older cousins who grew up with the same grandmother later opened their homes to me in a difficult period.   I had been struggling with how to leave the seminary, and where to go. 

My father’s mother was quite different. She was from an Eastern Shore MD farm and married a furniture salesman. They lived a simple quiet life in a small town. After her two children were grown, my grandmother went to work in a local dry cleaner. She and my grandfather were delighted when we made our family visits once or twice a year. Grandmother made sure there were plenty of sweet treats. My favorite was sugar coated raisin bread. She loved knickknacks and going to auctions at nearby Ocean City, MD. I appreciated her quiet caring and simplicity.

My mother was one of the best organizers I have ever known. Again, I have come to appreciate that as I aged. She began volunteering at our Catholic school and parish, leading the annual Fall Festival, the biggest fundraiser for the school. Later, she moved her volunteer talents to our local hospital. She was among the first volunteers when it opened. She was a leader of the hospital gift shop for decades, organizing their annual purchasing trips. 

 In her late 70’s, she served as the campaign treasurer for a woman friend who ran for county executive. She organized a law suit vs. a developer trying to intrude against her and her neighbors.

In my 20’s, I became a nonprofit executive director.  Because I was unprepared, a friend kindly suggested I might benefit from working with an organizational development consultant. It was great advice! She gently guided me in developing my ability to listen, involve staff, and make decisions that supported our work. She was the first to suggest to me that I might want to explore my “white male entitlement”, in the 1980’s! 

In my Twelve Step recovery, I have written in the past about my friend Doris and all the wisdom and nurturing she shared with me. I’ve learned from many other wise women. 

My wife Geraldine has for almost three decades now been my partner and friend. She has taught me about loving unconditionally, giving generously, and valuing family and relationships. 

There are many women whose love and caring are touching lives every day. March, as Women’s History Month, offers a great time to say thanks and appreciate the importance of these contributions.