This week’s post is about the gift of faith and how it widens and deepens as I get older. We all have faith in something. Otherwise, it would be hard to go on in a world filled with uncertainty and evil.

My faith is based on my Catholic roots and my Twelve Step practices that encourage “continuing to grow along spiritual lines.” This post may seem esoteric to some readers. I invite you to explore your own notion of Higher Power and let my musings guide you where you are meant to go.

A couple of weeks ago, many Christian communities celebrated Pentecost, the coming of the Holy Spirit after Jesus died, rose, and ascended to heaven. Fiery tongues are associated with the Spirit (called the Holy Ghost in former times), so priests and congregants often wear red. It is a joy-filled celebration, full of hope.

You may recall that when my brother John died two years ago, he left me with a deeper belief in what he called Big Spirit. John went west to Haight-Ashbury with the hippies in the 1960s. During his wanderings, he met Native American people who introduced him to Spirit. When he got sober, he called his Higher Power “Big Spirit.”

As part of my Twelve Step recovery, I came to believe that we are all spiritually connected. Some call it our souls; others our spirits. Still others see a LOVE force bigger than all of us—our Creator and the source of our desire to love.

So I looked forward to Pentecost. I was surprised when, a few days later, I read an essay by the deceased Archbishop Luis Martinez of Mexico City describing the Spirit as our Comforter and Consoler. That was a new idea to me.

In Consoled by the Spirit (Magnificat, May 24, 2026), Archbishop Martinez explains that at Pentecost “the Holy Spirit is called Consoler optime—Best Consoler.” We need a consoler because pain and suffering are inevitable. God, acting through Jesus, is perfect love. And perfect love wants us to be comforted and consoled when we face life’s disappointments.

My ah-ha went beyond Pentecost. I felt that the idea of God as a Trinity made more sense to me.  We all get to choose our understanding of the infinite. After all, if there is an infinite power in this amazing and mysterious universe, it is beyond our comprehension. And therefore, a mystery. We each make a leap of faith that helps us live fuller, richer, and more loving lives. 

I have watched priests struggle to explain the Trinity for years and eventually stopped worrying much about it. When I returned to my Catholic faith after beginning my Twelve Step journey in 1980, it took a while to do more than simply show up. During one of the darker periods of my life in the 1990’s, a friend introduced me to a Unity Church.

The services were more joyful than what I had experienced. There was a husband-and-wife minister team who spoke about Father/Mother God and Jesus as our “way-shower.”

I was moved by the idea of God embodying the best of both father and mother. My Twelve Step exploration encouraged finding “God as you understand God.” This understanding of Father/Mother God worked for me and gave me what I now call comfort, direction, and a way to pray.

For decades, my prayer was mostly directed to God. Over time, Jesus became associated with ideas and beliefs I did not share. So I was more comfortable with Father/Mother God and, later, Big Spirit as my understanding of the divine.

Last year, a priest friend suggested I read The Little Book of the Eucharist. Skeptically, but because I respected him, I did. The booklet gave me a renewed and vibrant way to think about my relationship with Jesus and how we are fed and nurtured through the Eucharist, which means thanksgiving.

As I grew closer to Jesus, I began reading mystics who wrote passionately of their love for him. They reflected on his suffering, death, and resurrection as acts that free us from our mistakes and unite us in love.

This journey has brought me a deeper faith and greater peace with the notion that a first force of LOVE—Father/Mother God, who can do and be anything—sent Jesus to teach, heal, and redeem us. And Jesus sent Big Spirit to comfort, console, and guide us.

And it is all about love and being one with one another in love. I do not have a better explanation, but this one works for me.

Best wishes as you continue exploring what faith means to you and how you access it.