Editor’s Note: This week’s guest contributor is Claire Ricewasser. She is retired from Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. (World Service Office). Her primary assignment was Outreach to Professionals. However, she was also as the former Archivist in the New York City Al-Anon office and the supervisor of the Archives Coordinator at the Virginia Beach WSO.  She met Lois Wilson on several occasions as a WSO staff member and brings personal experience and deep knowledge of the forming and growth of Al-Anon and recovery for families of alcoholics. Join Claire, my co-author of A Marriage that Changed the World, Joy Jones, and me for a one-hour Zoom Gratitude Celebration for the many gifts from the pioneers of A.A. and Al-Anon, Thursday, Nov. 13 at 7 p.m. eastern and Thursday, Nov. 20 at 1 p.m. eastern. (Register to receive Zoom link at https://forms.gle/j1BgTW1Sf9dkRB139.) 

Gratitude is a popular topic in Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) meeting rooms, particularly in November. Most members readily acknowledge thankfulness for the improvements in their lives and their ability to meet their challenges as a result of their Twelve Step recovery.

Finding serenity as a family member in the Al-Anon program is hard won for family members of alcoholics, just as attaining sobriety is for the alcoholics in A.A. However, Al-Anon recovery has an additional caveat stated in the Suggested Al-Anon/Alateen Welcome that opens each Al-Anon meeting. This introduction to each meeting anchors the group and reminds members that they can “find contentment and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.” 

While Bill W. and Dr. Bob S., A.A.’s Co-founders, are readily acknowledged, the pioneering efforts of their wives (Lois W. and Annie S.) are equally significant. Without their steadfast and unwavering support of their husbands’ involvement in the development of A.A., recovery for family members of alcoholics in the Al-Anon program would not be possible.     

One to One–No Longer Alone 

It was a defining moment for the future of family recovery when Lois and Anne met in Akron, OH, on June 29, 1935. They became fast friends as their husbands had when they were introduced to each other in May. Although Bill and Lois W. returned to New York, they maintained their close friendship with Annie S. and Dr. Bob. Bill and Bob would remain in frequent communication about the development of A.A. 

A.A. Groups – A Community With A Common Bond 

The newly formed A.A. groups met in the homes of A.A. members. Bob and Annie S. and Bill and Lois W. were among the first to host A.A. meetings in their homes. Living rooms of members offered safety and privacy to A.A. members and their family members. The stigma of alcoholism as a moral failing and disgrace for individuals who lacked the willpower to stop drinking was most likely a decisive factor in holding home-based meetings. The wives of A.A. members accompanied their husbands and were initially welcomed to attend the A.A. meetings. It isn’t known if the spouses were simply present as observers or if they participated in the discussions. Gradually, some of the A.A groups “closed” their meetings to non-alcoholics around 1939 so the alcoholic members could have greater privacy and confidentiality.  

Wives Continue To Accompany Their A.A. Husbands. 

Whether or not the A.A. meeting was “closed,” the spouses typically gathered in the kitchens and talked among themselves as they prepared to serve coffee and cake to the A.A.s after the meetings. This hospitality aspect also helped to foster a family recovery atmosphere at A.A. meetings. 

Little by little the wives’ kitchen conversations helped them to realize that they, too, needed the recovery tools offered by A.A.’s Twelve Steps. The alcoholic’s sobriety and attendance of A.A. meetings created a new beginning for the alcoholic. Yet, the spouses often found that sobriety did not solve all their day-to-day living and relationship challenges. Some began to admit that they were not as happy as they thought they would be with their alcoholic husbands’ newfound sobriety. Although the wives could see the changes and growth in their husbands because of the A.A. meetings and Twelve Steps, some feared their husbands would drink again. Others had difficulty trusting that their husbands could manage household finances. In essence, sobriety did not guarantee marital bliss. The A.A. members were living in the present and many of their spouses seemed emotionally “stuck” in the past.    

Like the A.A.s, the wives discovered that they needed privacy to focus on and share their concerns with each other. Gradually, they transitioned from conversing in kitchens to forming their own support groups utilizing the Twelve Steps of A.A. And so, a new Family Group movement for wives of alcoholics was spawned predominantly during the 1940s. 

Family Groups Develop Their Community and Common Bond

There is no doubt that Lois W. and Annie S. were the cornerstones of the concept of family recovery. They were better known because of their close connection and support of A.A. The Family Group movement spread spontaneously throughout the U.S., Canada, and to other countries. There were various names such as Non A.A., Triple A’s, A.A. Helpmates, and A.A. Auxiliary Groups. The attendees remained essentially the wives of A.A. members from the late 1930s throughout the 1940s. The same was true when these early 87 groups were united under the “Al-Anon” name when Al-Anon’s first Clearing House was formed in 1951 by Lois W. and her neighbor, Anne B.(not to be confused with Annie S.).

There is no doubt that the groundwork laid by Lois W. and Annie S. in the 1930s and 1940s paved the way for family recovery movement. Their dedication and that of nameless others created a movement that would reshape the devastated lives of families of alcoholics around the world.