Tom Adams

When I first began to confront my misuse of alcohol, successfully sober people told me things that seemed either irrelevant or naïve. Why would they invite me to “keep coming back?” What in the world does it mean that “the first drink gets you drunk?” or “God can do for you what you can’t do for yourself.” Perhaps the most puzzling was: “We’ll love you until you can love yourself.” What does loving myself have to do with getting sober? It was 1980. I was 31 years old, and I didn’t think my drinking problem was that bad. Then a near calamitous auto incident led me to question how my drinking was impacting my family. That led me to attend a few Twelve Step meetings where I pronounced myself “not that bad.” Fear got me there and fear kept me there long enough to realize my drinking was bad enough. It could be that the most compelling thing they told me was that misusing alcohol is a progressive illness. My drinking and its negative consequences will get worse.