Editor’s Note: I’m taking August off from Critical Conversations. Enjoy today’s post and the opportunities summer offers for rest, laughter and fun. Tom 

This is my last post until September 2. I look forward to some time off – quiet and fun with family and friends. Today’s post is about friends and laughter and its healing power, particularly in hard times. 

I’ve reached an age where friends die regularly. Last week, a seminary classmate from New Jersey died. We spent four years of college together at a Baltimore seminary during the turbulent sixties. He was a larger-than-life guy whose wit was deserving of a late-night comedy show. 

Like many comedians, there were no barriers to where he found humor. His father was a frequent subject with everyday events at the gas station he owned.  Among his most humorous were stories from his Sunday morning visits to the Volunteer Fire Station for a beer. As students in a time of actual revolution in the seminary, the faculty and their physical, emotional or intellectual idiosyncrasies were amazing fodder for bad jokes. And, yes, his sources of humor included me and his circle of friends. 

While perhaps crude at times, the laughter brought us together and was a source of joy and pleasure during a challenge-filled period of life. The night after my friend died, I dreamt about being in a circle of friends that included him, co-workers, and family members. It’s not a group that ever came together. Yet, here we all were, laughing and having a good time. 

Later the same night I dreamt I was with friends, waiting for a war to start. We were gathered downtown as if we were waiting to ship out somewhere. There was laughter there despite the threat of war’s horror.

These two dreams reminded me of how hard life is right now. I am fortunate to have many friends and family members with whom I laugh regularly. This laughter is a connection that whisks me away from the chaos and craziness of life today. It reminds me that I am one with this friend or grandchild. I am nurtured by the laugher and, for a moment, am aware that all is well despite my external realities.  

In a group meditation called Heart or Compassion Meditation that I do most weeks, the facilitator asks us to recall a tender moment for which we are grateful and feeling loved. I often think about tender moments with two of my six-year-old grandchildren. I have had the opportunity to be with them as they have grown. With both, my favorite memory is time when I was holding them, and playing with them and we shared a silly or tender moment.

Similarly, I have one friend that I call when I need to share a laugh. In those exchanges, we are connected and love is present. It doesn’t matter if I am making fun of his football team or he is reminding me why he excels at Wordle. There is a bond and for a moment where life’s craziness is held at bay. 

There are many ways to rest the body and nourish the spirit. Laughter with friends is surely one. There are phone calls and walks to share lessons from life’s journey; we can learn from other’s experiences. These are powerful instances, whether with loved ones, friends or a Twelve Step colleague. 

 For some of us who are so fortunate, there are these special times for a break from work and activities. The next few weeks bring together some of my favorite renewal activities – being at the beach, swimming in the ocean, and laughing – fun with family and friends. 

I hope this summer offers you ways to renew, find peace and laugh despite our challenged world. Peace!